my mother despises me and at this point i'm fine with it (sure now i have insomnia but rest is fine)
I feel so empty that even talking drains me now.
i can't believe i used to be a chatterbox till a few months ago
with the amount of fighting and screaming that happens everyday, My belief on marriage or relationships has vanished. I lie to my friends that i crush one someone when i don't so they don't find it sus.
And with the amount of blaming they do on me I'm surprised how i didn't just end everything
We broke up and I'm still in denial. In the mornings I forget or tend to brush off the fact we will forever be in no contact. Its no exaggeration when I say he's in my dreams every night. I always dream when I sleep, but I've never had an S/O or an ex appear in them. I'm awake the whole day without a care but when I sleep and wake up, I cry and feel empty - and then the cycle repeats.
I think this must be some horrible of coping mechanism because I suppress emotions.
I am struggling with finding a reason to live and decided to live for my friends and family. Now I am starting to resent them because it feels like I am doing something for them that gives me nothing in return.