This is probably 6 years now that I've known I'm not good enough for my parents. No matter what I do, it's never enough. I'll always be a mistake, always the liar and the dramatic fucking baby. But I don't know what to do anymore. I'm fucking terrified of what I might do after high school. I spent 3 years in and out of hospitals during Covid. Everyone is moving on, except me, and I'm so scared that they'll all forget me. Maybe it would be better if they did. Then I would never be a burden to anyone ever again.
One summer we were all swimming, I went inside to go to the bathroom. I heard noises from the back bedroom (I thought all the adults were outside). I went to the door which was almost All the way closed but cracked and pushed it open a bit more. I saw my grandpa on the bed stroking it. My reaction should have been to get out of there, but I stayed and watched him finish. I’m 40 and still have a thing for watching much older men still.
I lied to my therapist and faked recovery to avoid a higher level of care. I've now found out I have serious, likely irreversible consequences from the disorder and I can't bring myself to tell her. I'm in denial and keep justifying this illness
I gave in to temptations again and masturbated... despite knowing not to. I can't solve this on my own, I tried many times. God, I can't kill this sin without Your help.
I'm getting married in 2 days, but I cheated on my fiancée last Friday. Now I'm having a complete breakdown, doubting everything, and I don't know what to do. I've barely been able to focus on anything, and I can't tell anyone. I just need to get this off my chest somehow
sometimes girl, I wish you’d come back and tell me you’re sorry for what you did. I’d take you back even though I shouldn’t. I’d let you hurt me again if it meant you’d be close to me again. I saw all your red flags and I still liked you. Why do I like you so much? You hurt me so bad and I still have feelings for you. You ignore me like I’m just garbage like we never happened. I wonder what I did sometimes. I can’t think of it. I hope you are doing okay, even if you choose others over me. I will remember you as a life lesson and I’ll look for you in another life if I can. Alanis, I love you. When I saw you, I saw hope and your kindness only amplified that.
I found out today that what I overheard someone say last week was untrue, and the guy I like is not gay. I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t bold enough to do it. Then someone just told me. I’m not sure why. Now I’m back to thinking people are trying to get us together, which I wouldn’t be against.
I never wanted to have a job in my entire life. The only reason I ever had jobs is because I was forced to have them. The only thing I want to do in my life is play video games and watch TV.
There is this joke going on my family how I am the favorite grandchild of our last grandma. Even though it’s not true per se (she loves my sister equally as much, she just generally doesn’t show many emotions), there is the thing about how she was actually the only constant person throughout my childhood to always be there. She was the only person that actually was there everyday after school for me and many dinners as well. My parents where hardly there due to work. And my sister, well she lived in her own bubble with her many friends. Where I had 1 to none. So now that she is dying of cancer I can’t express this to anyone because that would make the situation worse for them. I love my family so fucking deeply, but the nearing death of my grandma is taking a fucking toll on me.