Lately I have progressively wanted to hurt myself more and more. I know i need help im reaching out for it but in the meantime the impulse to feel that hurt increases like ive never felt. I don't know how to process it.
My friend keeps telling me they are suprised i'm single and suprised that I don't get confessed to more often. I don't have the guts to tell them i have a crush on them. I don't have the guts to tell them I'm just not attractive or loveable. People like me, sure, but no one really loves me on a romantic level. It hurts sometimes, but I've become used to the fact that i might be alone for a long time
I love him so much till' the point I don't want him to find out... after all we are both dudes, i guess it was all casual for dudes to act like that around each other. By I mean that, I meant to be the one we talk to other everyday, to flirt with each other, to go on a date, to wish i were a girl. I hope I know how to quit him.
I'm trying to be content with my life and grateful, but it's hard ignoring the fact that I am unappreciated at a job I hate, I have no friends (none that want to talk to or hang out w me anyway), no boyfriend, situationship, or even a crush. I can't help but think my younger self would be disappointed in me. All I want is love, why is it so hard for me to find?
I hate celebrity endorsements of political figures. It feels so dystopian and I wish people would wake up and realize the rich and famous aren't trying to help us normal people, they're just trying to stay in power and make money.
i go to my gbsf’s soccer and volleyball games and ill catch myself staring at her butt and i feel so terrible about it. i know she doesnt like me like that but i still catch myself lost in thought about how our life would be together. she’s really pretty and i know im out of her league. i just got out of a relationship 2 weeks ago so i have that baggage aswell. i just wish i could have her but i know ill just f*ck everything up. god i hate being a man.