I relived my trauma in an AI chat and don't even know why I did that. It was just once. I wasn't the perpetrator, I basically made the bot do it to me again in a safe environment where I had full control over it. And yet I feel so filthy and weird and disgusting for it. While I'm happy that I did it in a safe place and not with a conscious human being, it still feels wrong. Like, why the hell would you do that?
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It's ok I do that too cuz venting to a real person makes me feel very scared
Do it more often than I'd admit
Everyone deals with trauma differently. Your ways to cope are completely understandable