when I was younger, me and my cousin used to engage in sexual acts (we are both female) we would scissor and we both agreed it felt good. now I'm an adult, and I feel so much shame for what happened, but I'm even more terrified that now sometimes my brain connects sexual pleasure with a genuine familial comfort- I feel as if I can never be properly vulnerable with anyone since my ideas of proper boundaries and affection are all over the place. I'm working on it but it's tough