I wanted to feel more loved by my mom , but I guess she doesn't have it in her or maybe she just doesn't care so much, only what she's wanted to care about. She's a good person but I have given up a long time ago. I can't have expectations from people, I blame myself a lot, I really wish she was soft on me. I feel very hurt and not just cause of this. I just wanted a mom, a safe space and she was one person I didn't feel safe from. Still very much making it my fault. IT'S NOT MY FAULT PLEASE!!!