I am not with him because i want to be with him. I am with him because i can't imagine my life without him. We have been together for 17 years. I feel like i'd rather be unhappy with him than being alone. If i broke up with him i would not stand to see him unhappy. My life would be turned upside down. He is a very sweet person, he treats me very well. He is like family to me. But something is not right. I feel like my mental health is crumbling. I wish i would die just by snapping my fingers.